“Why are you crying?” Sara asked a weeping Ben as she walked into the kitchen.

Ben was blinking his eyes hard.

His mouth was opening and closing with the exact timing of each blink….

His hands were lying flat on the counter straddling a large pile of chopped up onions.

He said “They tried to get away …I….I…I had to kill them”

Sara snorted….then pointed out….

“You have to rinse the onions in hot water so that they won’t make your eyes water goofy” Sara said as she walked past him to the fridge and opened
it, looking for….something….

He jabbed the knife at her back with quick ninja strokes and stuck his tongue out at her…

When she turned back to him, he was standing there spreading the onions around with the knife in one hand, licking his lips and wiping his eyes with the other.

He wasn’t doing…

I read this great post: Perfect Ending To A Day

It touched me….

It’s amazing how things can move you….isn’t it?

The rain began to patter on the window that looked out over my best friend’s small garden.

I was holding her frail hand, the one with her “green thumb”.

I smile at this…

She always giggled when she told me that she could kill a plastic plant…

But now her eyes were closed, her breath labored.

….. today was a good day for her.

She may have been asleep but her fingers gripped mine as hard as she could squeeze.

I could barely tell I was holding her hand at all as weak as she was.

It’s so painful to imagine strength draining away from the strongest person you have ever known.
….sand in an hourglass.

I laced my fingers thru hers, gripping them a little harder, tracing the…

He took my ability to sleep when he pulled me out of bed through the window by my ankle and dragged me into the woods. As a fully grown adult, I still cannot sleep next to a window on the first floor. I cannot sleep near an open window. I hug walls. I instinctively curl up into a fetal position, trying to keep my legs out of his reach. I still have the same nightmares I had then; the nightmares really happened. Sleep is when we are most vulnerable. He took advantage of that vulnerability. He took my sleep.

He took my security. He took away the concept that when you are in your family’s home in your own bed, you are safe. Nowhere was safe. Nowhere is safe. There is no place on earth that arm cannot reach, even if it only exists in my fears now. I never…

At the art show with his awesome bird
April 2014

I ran into a friend at the kindergarten art show late last week.

“How’ve you been?” she asked.

“Ugh. I have shingles.”

She started to laugh a little.

“You know, I was just saying to T. that I have all these friends who do so much. I just don’t know how they do it. I used you as an example. I can barely keep a ball and a half in the air, and you do so much! How’d you do it, I wondered.”

“Yup. Shingles. That’s how I do it.”

“Ha! Yes! Shingles!” she cheerfully replied.

It’s been that kind of week, a week where it’s sometimes a funny thing. You know, “I got shingles!! On my lady bits!! Hahahaha. Right?! Who knew that could happen?! Hahahaha.”

Because anything that rhymes with Pringles and ends up on your lady bits…

I smell great!

I love showers.

I love hot water, high volume, high velocity.

The kind of water force where you don’t need soap or a scrunchy and you actually have to brace yourself against the stall to keep from being knocked down.

The blast of H2O just tears the dirt and dead skin off your body, leaving you as pink as a babies butt!

I guess that’s why I only shower twice a week.

Too much of a good thing ruins the stew.

I love the anticipation of seeing my big hunky dirty body in the mirror and know that in a minute or two I will once again be able to see the true color of my skin and eventually I will be able to get a comb thru my hair once again.

I know that I am killing millions of my cells, and its somewhat disturbing to…

Automattic’s mission is to democratize publishing, and a fully informed citizenry is the foundation of any functioning democracy. Keeping our users and the public fully informed about our policies on responding to government requests has always been important to us — and now, more than ever, candor in this area is vitally important.

In keeping with these principles, we’re pleased to release our first transparency report. This initial report summarizes the number of government information requests, takedown demands, and national security requests that we received during the second half of 2013. In addition to giving our users full transparency about the volume of these requests, we also hope that publicly reporting our data will help hold all parties (including us) accountable.

A few highlights of our report:

Information Requests. For the second half of 2013, approximately 0.0001% of the 48 million sites that we host were subject to a…

Public domain (From finebooksmagazine.com)

My writing quest goes back to the days of the ditto machine.

It was the eighth grade.

I loved sports. I tried out for the junior high basketball team. I made it to the final cut before Coach Herb Friedman did not call out my name. We lived in a big school district on Long Island, so I only felt bad for a little while.

My friends that did make the team, though, they knew how much I loved the sport. All sports, really. I was a playground regular for hoops and street hockey. I’d tuck my mitt under my arm and bike to the park for pickup baseball in the summer sun, and watch the steam come out of our mouths while we played no-equipment tackle into the fall nights, after swearing to our parents that we’d only play touch.

And they knew that I…

Well we’ve passed another week here in the land of blog and what an action packed one it’s been.  The Weekend Challenge is coming up and I’m really looking forward to reading the submissions of all those who wish to participate.  Remember to include the URL from the Weekend Funny Challenge to create a ping-back when you write your post.  Last weekend was a little more fraught than usual, what with the whole Cyclone dilemma and my desperate attempts not to retreat under the bed to safety.  As a result I’m hoping this weekend can be more fun than fraught.

So come on, fess up, what makes you laugh, giggle, chortle or snort with glee.  Hmmm, really I want to know and it will be fun after all laughter isn’t a sin [or is it] and on that note let me get the ball rolling with this weekends first funny.