Toot My Horn!

just read him. he might make you mad. he will make you laugh.

Everything Hurts & I'm Dying


I smell great!

I love showers.

I love hot water, high volume, high velocity.

The kind of water force where you don’t need soap or a scrunchy and you actually have to brace yourself against the stall to keep from being knocked down.

The blast of H2O just tears the dirt and dead skin off your body, leaving you as pink as a babies butt!

I guess that’s why I only shower twice a week.

Too much of a good thing ruins the stew.

I love the anticipation of seeing my big hunky dirty body in the mirror and know that in a minute or two I will once again be able to see the true color of my skin and eventually I will be able to get a comb thru my hair once again.

I know that I am killing millions of my cells, and its somewhat disturbing to…

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